Couple confronts reality of ‘till death do us part’ | The Enterprise
The Enterprise


Couple confronts reality of ‘till death do us part’

Posted on January 8, 2022


Joe Weaver

Joe Weaver

Within the last few years, I have gotten very conscious of my mortality. I don’t think I am going to drop dead any day now, mind you, but it has occurred to me that I more than likely have more time behind me than I do in front of me.

My wife doesn’t like me bringing it up, and I can understand why, sort of. We don’t spend a lot of time thinking about what life would be like without the other one. I guess we suppose we are always going to be a “we” or “us” and not a “me” or “I.”

Most of the people I know refer to us as a pair and not as individuals, as if my wife has no personality and I have no personality, but together we are so full of personality we are bursting at the seams. That’s partially true, as we are a well-oiled machine that works much better as a unit and not so great as individual parts. Anyone who’s seen us together would agree to that.

A lot of the time, my wife plays Abbott to my Costello. I’m the ridiculous one and she is the practical adult. She has said many times that I am less of a husband and more a mischievous kid she needs to keep on a short leash.

I won’t say she’s completely wrong, but I won’t say she’s entirely correct. Living with me means you have to be on your toes all the time.

Not long ago, we were walking out of the drugstore and I had done something that caused my wife to say “I love you” to me just as we were passing a surly looking woman who was going in as we were going out.

“You hardly know that woman.” I said, “How do you know you love her?”

I looked the woman in the eye and said, “I’m sorry about my wife. Sometimes she doesn’t know what she is saying. You seem like a lovely person, though.”

My wife looked at the woman and then at me and shook her head.

A few years ago, I suggested we go and look at Christmas lights in a nearby neighborhood.


“No,” I said, “Let’s wait until morning when the sun is out and we can see each of the bulbs.”

I like to think I am a wiseguy. My wife does once in a while, but most of the time, she is the straight man in our little comedy routine.

I know you are thinking that doesn’t have a lot to do with being aware of my mortality. It doesn’t really, but I wanted you to smile a little before I got to the really heavy stuff.

I am a little bit past the theoretical halfway point of the average American man’s lifespan. I have age-appropriate issues, I don’t smoke and rarely drink, but I eat what I want. My doctor says I am doing OK, and since he is a doctor and I am not, I guess I’m gonna have to trust him. I feel OK most of the time and when I don’t, it’s never anything serious.

I’ve reached the age where I am beginning to lose my friends. You, the guy who always complains about my column, must be thinking that I don’t have any friends, but I do.

My friends, some of whom are a little older and some a little younger, have been leaving us of late. I get online only to see that bad health or something similar has claimed another friend. Now, I am in no hurry to get to the hereafter, but I’m not so sure being the last man standing is so hot, either.

Getting old is one thing. Old and lonely is another.

I have learned that a dear friend has a very short time left on this earth. He’s had a full life and he’s been places and done things and met people, so he’s not going out with a lot of things left to do. His family has made preparations, and I can only imagine he is reaching a point where he is ready to move on to the next journey.

It’s reminding me that I don’t want to go any time soon. There is still a lot left to do and see.

My wife has told me time and time again that I have to go before she does. I didn’t understand why and wondered if she was in some kind of hurry to get me to go. Finally, I asked her.

“I can’t go first.” my wife said, “knowing there will be no one to take care of you.”

I told her I was in no hurry, but if it made her feel better, I would be sure to go first.

Don’t think for a minute that I would not haunt our house.

Joe Weaver, a native of Baltimore, is a husband, father, pawnbroker and gun collector. From his home in New Bern, he writes on the lighter side of family life.

More Opinion

Albert Thomas Jr.


Low’s track will determine snow vs. freezing rain totals

By Al Thomas
| January 16, 2022

The combination of cold temperatures and a low pressure system expected to intensify over South Caro...

Christopher Wray


Remembering the cops who didn’t come home

By Christopher Wray
| January 15, 2022

While many Americans celebrated the holidays with their families in the final week of 2021, law enfo...


Labor board: Take your politics to work

By Corey Friedman
| January 13, 2022

The National Labor Relations Board wants to open the door to workplace activism, but winning its cas...

Local News

Powered by Nash & Pine | v4.2.1