Red pistachios: Where did they go, why were they better?

Granted, it may not be among the most serious problems facing us today but am I the only one who thinks the current version of pistachio nuts on the market do not taste nearly as good as they used to?

Also, why have the red pistachios like we used to have been replaced by the tan-colored version?

I guess the new ones are still pistachios, although for downright goodness, they are a pitiful substitute for the red ones of the past.

The extra salty taste found in the red versions, unlike the bland versions we have now, was the biggest reason for pistachios being such a favorite of so many.

The first time I recall eating pistachios was when I was probably about 6 years old and my daddy brought some home following a visit to either the Elks Club or American Legion in Wilson.

I became hooked on them immediately and still rank them right up there as being among my favorite snack foods.

Throughout most of my early years, the supply of pistachios was plentiful. I recall being able to get them from nickel and dime vending machines at places like the barber shop, golf course, movie theater, hardware store and newsstand.

About the only places you can get red pistachios now are from specialty gift shops, mail order catalogs, during the holiday season and sometimes from grocery store bulk barrels where they are slightly more expensive.

The nation of Iran, better known by most of us as a huge petroleum producer and a political opponent, is the world's largest producer of pistachios, with the United States finishing in second place.

Ever wonder why the earlier pistachio shells were red? I did, so I did some research to learn why.

It apparently goes back to when most pistachios were shipped to us from the Middle East.

The shells in those days were often discolored from sitting on the ground while being dried and the red dye made them look better for the consumer.

As it turns out, the red color has nothing to do with the pleasant, salty taste associated with pistachios. It's just that they were salted more heavily.

I guess the part of red being better is all mental, sort of like the idea people had that Coca-Cola from the old 6-ounce bottles tasted better than the same Coke in larger bottles.

One of the perils of eating pistachios is that your hands and lips turn blood-red due to the dye. Whenever you eat red pistachios, everyone who sees your face afterward certainly knows it.

One of the best and funniest examples of snacking on pistachios and the resulting consequences came in the movie "Naked Gun," a screwball comedy classic from 1988 starring Leslie Nielsen as police detective Frank Drebin.

Drebin and partner Capt. Ed Hocken, played by George Kennedy, were on a stakeout and the two men were parked in a patrol car along a city street watching for a suspect.

While passing the time talking and telling stories, they were also eating pistachios and throwing the empty shells out on the street beside the car.

After a while, they decided to leave but were unable to do so due to the mountain of pistachio shells that had accumulated on the sidewalk. The pile had grown several feet high, almost completely engulfing the car and preventing the men from opening the car door.

In addition, their lips and entire lower faces were as bright red as if they had been painted that color.

While the pistachio scene was silly, ridiculous and had nothing whatsoever to do with the movie's plot, it was still hilarious and anyone who had ever eaten red pistachios could easily relate to it.

A childhood friend of mine had a most unusual method of eating pistachios.

He used to shell all of them even if it was a big bagful and would not actually eat any until he had shelled each and every one, after which he collected them all together and ate them in one big collective gulp.

Strange, for sure, but to each his own!

Keith Barnes is a reporter for the Johnstonian News. Email him at kbarnes.jhn@wilsontimes.com.